What Do Wedding Painters And Wine Critics Have In Common?

More than you might think.

I recently came across a story about a wedding painter. Apparently this is a whole new way to spend money on a wedding. The painter shows up a few hours ahead of the ceremony, paints the background (presumably best for outdoor weddings) and then captures the happy couple at the actual nuptials. The first kiss is a popular moment to paint.

Here the skill is speed. The artist must do a respectable job of making a painting in a very short time. It’s a step above the quick sketch artists who cover sensational criminal trials. But speed is the key to success. Is your wedding painting likely to hang in the Tate or the Guggenheim? Probably not.

Professional wine critics almost universally make a lot of noise about blind tasting. Often the critic is blasting through a dozen, two dozen, maybe a hundred wines in a day. By tasting blind, they assert, their reviews are more honest and objective. And blind tasting too is a skill that requires speed. While speed spitting through a lineup of purportedly unknown wines the taster must quickly jot down some notes and a number, almost always a number between 85 and 95.

What many critics are loathe to divulge is what happens after the blind tasting. Bags are removed, identities revealed, notes are “updated” and scores? Well, it’s hard to believe that scores are not adjusted. So again it’s speed that counts the most. And as with those wedding paintings, doing it fast may be skillful, but it’s unlikely to produce the best results.

I have learned, over many years and many tens of thousands of wines, that young wines – the sort that are often released too early, tasted by reviewers right after bottling, or (God forbid!) reviewed from barrel – do not show themselves well. For myriad reasons they need at the very least a few hours to gasp for air.

I taste fewer wines than most reviewers and that is intentional. Every wine I taste gets looked at least three times and usually more. Most are re-tasted after being open for 24 hours; some yet again after 48 hours. I don’t do this as an exercise in palate flagellation. I do it because it works.

Good wines will show better when given that extra time. I’ve seen it over and over. My initial comments may or may not completely capture the nuances, depth and detail of a just-released wine. My initial score may be too low, or sometimes, too high. And it will be adjusted accordingly. I’m not interested in speed; I want accuracy. I want the finished review to reflect the sort of care and consideration that went into the production of that bottle of wine. And that takes time.

Blind tastings are great fun. Mostly the fun lies in trying to make an educated guess about what’s in your glass. Can you guess the grape? The region? The vintage? But as a so-called “objective” method for reviewing and scoring young wines? Blind tastings are at best flawed and at worst downright deceitful.